There's that feeling of impending doom again. I don't know what's wrong with me. For so many, I'm an oracle. A beacon of everything logical and rational - for my advice is most often unmatched and my words unimpeachable - yet I have no clue what it is that I feel. Something happened today, something which with anyone else would have made me incomprehensibly angty. But I didn't get angry. Instead... there was a deep and unrelenting sorrow. It was there, just for a moment, and then it was gone. Then... emptiness.

It didn't feel like someone had taken my heart and mind from me. It felt like... perhaps it had never been there at all. Everything inside me feels like this great gaping hole. There's no real pain - just a dull thud. A tugging. Like maybe that emptiness is pulling the walls of my soul in on itself in an attempt to fill itself in.

Anymore, I'm just tired of life. I don't want to be here any more. Reality is imploding and my sanity has been compromised. It's not that I want to die it's just... I dunno... I don't want to live. I don't know how to say it without sounding like one of those kids that hangs out at hot topic. It's not self pity. It's just that - while I'm sure I could fix life eventually - I suddenly feel like it's just not worth it to me. The end doesn't justify the means. The end doesn't justify any means.